“Here With Us” – Joy Williams

Enjoy!

SfC

O Come O Come Emmanuel – Barlowgirl

Enjoy!

SfC

Agnus Dei (Part of the Pope Marcellus Mass) – Giovanni Palestrina

A beautiful piece from around the time of the Protestant Reformation, partially a response to the Reformers’ critiques of the way the Catholic Church treated music.  Not that you needed to know that; just a little nugget from my Music History class two years ago.  Anyway, enjoy!

SfC

Amy Grant – “Breath of Heaven”

The church that I attended as a young boy often had a Christmas program performed by the youth, and for several years in a row, we (the youth) sang this song.  I admire this song because, for one, it is original in content and theme; I don’t hear too many songs like this listening to the radio around Christmas.  I also love the theme: despite the associations we have of Christmas in modern culture, the story told of Mary and Joseph is really a story of much pain, suffering and (I think) questioning God’s presence.

If you disagree with me, think of it.  What were her parents and friends thinking when Mary became pregnant and claimed an angel appeared to her?  Would they believe her, or would they assume (like I would) that she had been unfaithful to Joseph?  Or perhaps that she had sinned with Joseph during their engagement (which to the outsider would explain why he stayed with her).  And what of the Romans (i.e. the evil foreign empire) ordering them to go to Bethlehem while she was pregnant?  And giving birth in a barn?  And then fleeing for their lives into a foreign land because Herod wanted to kill their newborn child?

The Christmas story is one of remarkable literary significance.  Jesus’s birth into the world was a time of suffering and violence, and it is easy when we suffer to wonder where God is.  The Christmas story is fundamentally this: in Mary and Joseph’s suffering and struggles, it would be easy for them to ask where God could possibly be when, in fact, God could not have been closer.  He was physically present with them.

What if this is true?  What if, in our struggles, God draws nearer?  That is the Christmas story.

SfC

Here’s a link to “The Hero as a Visitor in Hell: The Descent into Death in Film Structure.”

MercyMe – What Child is This?

A couple of years I posted a version of this song performed by Josh Groban, and in the spirit of the coming Christmas season, I am posting a version performed by the contemporary Christian band MercyMe.

There is something that I have always found hauntingly beautiful about this song.  I remember as a child listening to a Christmas cassette tape for hours-long car rides to my relatives’ homes for Thanksgiving and Christmas, and there was always something about this song that had a deep, unidentified resonance.

Enjoy, and take care this holiday season!

SfC

The author quite skillfully points out the economic reality that we in the United States have dug for ourselves.  We all have a bitter pill to swallow if we want to escape from the weight of our debt: tax increases aren’t going to be enough, nor will spending cuts.  We all know that both are necessary, and I honestly believe that we all understand that, even the politicians in Congress.  However, where we run into trouble is when we start getting specific: “We’re going to raise taxes this much” or “we’re going to cut spending this much,” and so forth.

However, what we all have to understand as our nation deals with these financial issues is this: however much suffering we endure by fixing our debt crisis, the alternative involves much more suffering.  When we go to a dentist with a toothache, we accept the reality that however much the extraction or surgery is going to hurt, the alternative is to allow the aching in our mouth to continue to increase.

I think the heart of our problem in the United States has been that we’ve been trying to eat financial Ibuprofen by the bottle; we’ve been comforting ourselves with the platitudes that if our current economic crisis had not occurred, we would not be having nearly so much trouble paying off our debt, that once the economy rebounds, we will quite easily be able to pay off our debt, and other such things.

Again, analogously, we in the United States have been downing financial cocaine for the last forty years by living beyond our means and spending more than we make.  A cocaine addict, when he is going into withdrawal, immediately thinks that if he could just have more cocaine, then everything would be alright.  But we all know that cocaine to a cocaine addict is a death sentence; if he continues to indulge his addiction, it will eventually destroy him.  I would argue at this point that the worst-case scenario for the United States would be a total economic recovery that enables us to spend ourselves into oblivion for the next 20 years until we are so steeped in debt that there is no escape.

There is a Biblical principle that God can do good things even during trying times.  We tend not to think that way anymore; we think that good things only happen during good times and bad times can only breed bad things.  However, if we are wise stewards, we need to accept that good can come from bad.  In the spirit of that thinking, I argue that we in the United States have an opportunity to lay a strong economic foundation for the next 20 years of our nation’s existence if we will appropriately and wisely deal with the struggles that are currently facing us.  By dealing with them properly, I’m not saying we “kick the can” to the next generation and let them deal with it; we have to deal with it now.  Otherwise, we will continue to borrow from the future until there is no more future to borrow from…nor any “now” to rescue.

So, if we are going to deal with the economic realities that face us today, we have a lot of bitter pills to swallow.  Even so, if we want there to be any hope and any expectation that things can improve in the future, we will do so.

Just some rants; sorry if it’s all rather non-sensical.

SfC

However, suffice it to say that for now, God has been faithful to me and I have found myself pursuing a Master’s degree at a (different) state university, living in an apartment on my own for the first time and in possession of a well-paying job with the university’s office of publications as well as working at a local fast food restaurant for a couple days a week.

The main thing that provokes my posting for today is that today seems to be an unusual day in that I have been in a bit of a cooking mood; I made my first completely homemade pizza this afternoon for lunch, and the first batch of cookies from a cookie mix is in the oven right now.  The smell of cooking food is certainly a satisfying one.

SfC

I will provide links to a few articles at the end of this post, but I wanted to muse for a moment on how real this causal relationship might be.

First of all, what is “fracking?”

Hydraulic fracturing, or simply ”fracking,” is a process by which modern technology seeks to obtain oil reserves found underground.  Many have heard of the large (or even enormous, depending on who you listen to) reservoirs of oil and natural gas in the continental United States but what isn’t always articulated is that these fossil fuels are contained within layers of underground rock.  The idea behind fracturing is to drill a well into the ground, detonate (small) explosives deep within this rock layer, pressurize the well with water and other (highly) toxic chemicals to induce the flow of the oil and gas and then pump it out.

Now, before I even touch on the earth-moving subject, I should point this out:  there are a number of health and safety concerns with hydraulic fracturing already.  The EPA has yet to obtain from the oil companies a list of the highly toxic chemicals, and indeed has exempted the oil companies from some safety requirements.  There are numerous articles and reports you can find on the internet that point to fracking as a cause of cancer, groundwater contamination (and not on a small level either), and other environmental damage.

But wait…can fracking cause earthquakes?

The answer is easily…maybe.  Take Oklahoma as an example: before 2009, there were an average of 50 quakes in Oklahoma per year.  Then, in 2010, that number increased to 1,047.  The presumption is that this is a direct result of hydraulic fracturing…and an oil company in the United Kingdom recently admitted that their fracking operation led to seismic activity.  In addition, there have been other instances where much less than something as sophisticated as hydraulic fracturing resulted in seismic activity (like a dam filling a lake with water; see articles below for details).  Nevertheless, even the most vocal are merely saying that there is a connection between fracking and seismic activity; they are not saying (yet) that there is a direct connection, though one could certainly make that argument.  Some are arguing that the amount of actual activity that is being done underground isn’t enough to cause earthquakes on such a scale (and certainly not on the scale of a 5.6 earthquake).

Not being a scientist myself, I cannot accurately say one way or the other.  However, I do think that I can bring some common sense to the conversation, and my first thought is this:  how do we know what fracking does?  That is to say, we don’t have cameras watching the fracking process occur miles underground.  For all we know, the fissures created by the explosions  – even small explosions – are much larger than we would anticipate.  And that doesn’t even have to be a universal truth; maybe it’s just in one or two places where explosions used to create the fractures cause more underground movement than we would suspect.

In response to those who argue that the underground activity from fracking is insufficient to cause earthquakes, I would argue that little things we do all the time have huge consequences.  That’s simply a fact of life, from my perspective.  Those who believe that humanity is causing climate change are accepting that human activity on a small scale does impact the larger environment.  Even if removing oil was all that happened underground, we are removing liquid mass from deep underground.  At some point, there comes a time when there are holes and caves underground that do not have structural support to stay open.  So, when there is a collapse, it becomes more than just a cave collapse; it’s an earthquake.  And (potentially) the longer that area goes without collapsing, the larger the collapse will be when it does occur.

Okay…so let’s stop hydraulic fracturing!

And here’s where I think that we run into the real problem.  Based on the articles I perused and the points I just made, it certainly does seem likely, though not certain, that fracking causes earthqaukes.  But that is really not the point.  As I pointed out earlier, the EPA has relinquished a lot of its powers of enforcement over the hydraulic fracturing industry.  Why?  Because we in the United States are very focused (perhaps even…obsessed?) with finding the fuel necessary to power our economy, keep our cars going, our lights on, and so forth.  Energy is a fundamental part of our nation’s very existence.  The hydraulic fracturing industry has the potential to meet our energy needs for some time to come.  In a lot of ways, I believe that in spite of a few jostles every now and then, people will not turn against hydraulic fracturing unless it can be said to cause a major, destructive earthquake…and the reality is, even though a 5.6 is significant for a region of the world that has previously had very few earthquakes at all, a 5.6 is nothing compared to a 6.0 or a 7.0.

Which, to me, is kind of sad that, if hydraulic fracturing is causing earthquakes, most people will focus more on the pros – jobs, energy, economic development – than on the possibility of some major catastrophe.  Who knows, maybe such a catastrophe will never happen and the central midwest will just have to get used to a few jostles every now and again…but with the kind of crazy weather everyone has been having lately, I’m leaning more towards the line of, “Let’s not cause any more natural disasters than we have to.”

Anyway, those are my thoughts.

SfC

References

Is Gas Fracturing Inducing Earthquakes?

Did Fracking Cause the Virginia Earthquake?

Fracking Pros and Cons:  Weighing in on Hydraulic Fracturing

The unusual weather just keeps coming.  For one, a reader mentioned that I completely forgot about the unusual and unexpected “East Coast” Earthquake that rattled most of the northwestern United States mere days before Irene.

For two, this last weekend has seen a spike in seismic activity in Oklahoma.  The central midwest experienced the most powerful quakes - based out of Oklahoma – felt in the region for many years.  The article I have provided a link to also states that since 2009, the volume of seismic activity in Oklahoma has increased tenfold.  (In the spirit of my last post, I happened to be watching a news article about how hard a year Oklahoma has had, starting with Snowmaggedon; my thought was, “who hasn’t had a hard year due to weather at this point?”)

And just in case Alaska happens to be on your mind in response to that question, fear not; it looks like before the week is out, Alaska will be on the list of weather victims for the year, too.  The Weather Channel is reporting that a “superstorm” is descending on the “Last Frontier” state within a few days.  They are calling for hurricane-force winds across an area the size of Colorado as well as destructively powerful (freezing) surf that could cause massive coastal erosion.  So, more reasons to keep your eye on the weather these days, folks; there’s no telling what could happen.

Me, I’m personally hoping nothing originates from New Madrid.  That would be a heap of trouble for everyone.

Keep safe and warm.

SfC

I will also warn that, as a resident of the Midwestern United States, I will most likely give extra coverage to the weather events that directly affected me, simply because I have personal experience with them.  I will attempt to be fair in my evaluations of non-local weather phenomena as well.

First of all, we began this year with:

Snowmageddon:  February 2011

Affected areas:  Northern, central & southern Midwest; East Coast

Very few of us in the Midwest can quickly forget the incredible snowstorm that slammed at least a third of the United States in early February.  I was attending a state-funded public university whose enrollment numbered in the tens of thousands, and the university was completely shut down for three days (to my knowledge, an unprecedented event).  Of course, some of our classes weren’t meeting even after that if the professors couldn’t escape from their own residences.  Friends of mine who attend the high school from which I graduated had two weeks out of school.  Chicago – not exactly a city unequipped for wintry weather – was completely shut down.  Overall, a stunning weather event that seemed likely to be the weather event of the year.  Sadly, we were all mistaken.

The Tornado Super-Outbreak: April 2011

Areas affected:  Midwestern and southern United States; Alabama hit especially hard

Tornadoes do happen; it wasn’t like this was the first time that tornadoes hit.  What was so remarkable about this event was watching the national weather and watching vast lines of tornado-producing storms tracking across multiple states, leaving behind them vast stretches of devastation that boggles the imagination.  The most destruction was felt in Tuscaloosa, Alabama; a major tornado descended in a major city doing damage on a scale that seemed like it was out of a weather disaster film, only this was no Hollywood production; this was real life.  Again, this was an event that seemed unrepeatable in its devastation; the Weather Channel just this last week released their data that indicates that this tornado outbreak was on par with the most destructive tornado outbreak in United States history.  No small deal…but hardly the last time we’d see devastation on such a scale.

Historic Flooding of the Mississippi River:  May 2011

Areas affected:  Mississippi, Alabama, Louisiana

I think this weather event was less reported on, but it was still significant.  Heavy rains in Missouri, Arkansas, and further upstream of the Missouri River all converged to create a level of flooding of the Mississippi river that was on par with the historic flooding of the Mississippi during the Great Depression (and, ironically during another national economic downturn).  Many towns several feet above the Mississippi were inundated with water and many thousands of crops were annihilated by too much moisture.  Ironically, parts of the United States would soon be asking for even more.

Joplin Tornado:  May 2011

Areas affected:  Joplin, Missouri

I have always had a primal fear of tornadoes, to the point of being a recipient of some ridicule when I was much younger.  Yet even I had never imagined that something like this could happen…and I was within 100 miles of Joplin when this event took place.  One tornado striking one town killed more people than the Super-Outbreak a month earlier, destroying many thousands of homes and businesses and slicing a big gash through the heart of the town.  The only silver lining for Joplin has been a very positive out-flowing of generosity from their neighbors not only in Missouri but around the United States and the world.  Extreme Makeover recently built seven homes in seven days for seven different surviving families of the Joplin disaster.  Sadly, that is a drop in the bucket compared to all of the years worth of rebuilding that it will take for Joplin to fully recover…and the psychological wounds from that kind of event will likely never fade.

Historic Drought:  Summer 2011 (still ongoing)

Areas affected:  Southern United States, Texas hit especially hard

The northern Midwest started the year with record rainfall, yet starting in the summer, huge portions of the southern United States have had no rain.  Texas, which was already covered by significant drought in April, has felt the full force of an unending dry heat wave.  Meteorologists are saying that it will take many years for the state to recover (assuming consistent rainfall), and in the meantime many major cities of Texas are having to crack down on water consumption just to get by.  News agencies have caught wind of the fact that peanut butter prices are about to increase by as much as 30% due to the drought killing crops, but peanuts aren’t the only food affected; many millions of acres of farmland have failed to produce viable crops, meaning that food prices across the board are likely to increase…a very significant strain on many global citizens already struggling to put food on the table at night.  If people didn’t have reason to be frustrated with rising living costs and falling wages, they might now.
Hurricane Irene: August 2011

Areas affected:  Eastern and Northeastern United States

Irene was probably one of the only major weather events that received proper publicity.  For a time, it looked like Irene would be a major hurricane as it closed in upon New York City and images of shattering skyscrapers and The Day After Tomorrow filled our minds.  Thankfully, the disaster was not that bad…but that’s hardly a comfort to the people who lived through it.  Torrential rains brought upon mudslides and forced people well inland from their homes.  Others were left trapped in their own homes because the rains washed out roads and bridges, meaning that it took days for road crews to get aid to some people.  And if one round of torrential rain wasn’t enough…

Tropical Storm Lee:  September 2011

Areas affected:  Southern, Eastern and Northeastern United States

After dropping tons of rain in Louisiana (scarring some people into suspecting another Hurricane Katrina), moisture from the remnants of Lee raced to the northwest and dumped more rain on the region that had just suffered from a major blow from Irene.  The one-two punch of the two systems dumped more rain in parts of New England in a month than some places get in a year.  Again, I find it remarkable that the two systems weren’t stronger; if they had been, there’s no telling how much damage could have been caused.  But even then, New England can’t seem to catch a break.

Snowtober:  October 2011 (still ongoing)

Area affected:  Eastern and Northeastern United States

Well, I suppose the good news is that it feels like we’ve come full circle.

A freak storm that developed off of the defunct Tropical Storm Rina’s moisture combined with unseasonably low temperatures to create a snow storm that easily matches the one we in the Midwest had eight months ago.  It isn’t often that Halloween anywhere gets canceled from major snowstorms, but this is what happened.  Millions were left without power due to tree collapses (since many trees hadn’t shed their fall leaves) and more chaos and devastation carpeted the same region, which has now been hit by three major weather events in two months.

Very Short Thought

As I stated earlier, I almost wish that I could take the time to recount all of the weather events that have affected the rest of the world and not just the United States, but I fear that time would fail me.  Suffice it to say that this has been an incredible year for weather disasters.  Many people are already saying that it is global warming…and I must say that I can see why.  As I have articulated on this blog before, I find myself in the camp of Global Warming skeptics.  Not to say that I am dismissing all of these events altogether; I’m certain that one could make a compelling argument as to why these are evidences of global warming.

However, rather than starting a debate that I cannot finish at the end of my blog post, let me simply say this:  when I think of all the weather disasters the Northeastern United States has suffered from for two months, I find myself thinking of how Texas hasn’t seen almost any rain…and I wonder if perhaps the weather patterns have simply shifted the moisture away from certain places (like Texas) into others (the Northeastern U.S.).  Does that mean it’s not global warming?  No.  Theoretically, any number of strange and odd weather patterns could emerge if global warming was happening.

However, strange weather patterns alone are not proof of global warming.  These weather events, though bizarre and awe-inspiring for sure, can be explained by a simple misalignment of traditional weather patterns to bring greater amounts of weather-inducing factors to certain areas and shift them away from others.  And such a misalignment may be entirely natural to happen every hundred years or so, yet how would we know?

Well, whatever happens, I hope my readers are buckling down for a hard – and interesting – winter.

SfC

So, some observations of mine from the movement and the associated news articles:

Their concerns are legitimate

Yes, corporate greed is out of control.  Yes, the United States are rightfully angered by the fact that corporations, judged “too big to fail” by the political powers that be, are bailed out using taxpayer money while taxpayers receive no bailouts from the government to help pay off the bills heaped on us by the very corporations that are being bailed out.  Very few people will argue with that; most everyone knows that the current arrangement is not sustainable in any fashion.

Their primary goal is to be heard

They aren’t politically motivated; this is not a group that wants to become a new, larger and more successful version of the Tea Party (though both groups have similar concerns).  They aren’t trying to appeal to any particular demographic; it is a movement that is reaching out to people from every economic position, every race, color, political ideology, religion and local place.  Their goal is not to push a new bill through Congress; their goal is to be heard by a political and social elite that has been doing its best to ignore them.

Despite the good, there is a danger that should be acknowledged

Remember what happened in London this last summer?  A perfectly legitimate protest against a police shooting of an innocent man mushroomed into several weeks’ worth of unrest and looting, a situation that had the London police force stretched beyond its capacity to effectively address.  Could that happen in the United States?  Well, the better question is “would any of us have imagined it happening in London.”  For most of us, the answer is “no,” yet it happened.

Unfortunately, when a civil restlessness leads to rioting – even for legitimate causes – there are opportunists who will seize the opportunity to their own advantage, which could lead to a similar situation.  The other problem I see is that, like the Occupy Wall Street movement, such an uprising could spread quickly.

Now obviously, it is only a possibility that Occupy Wall Street will take such a dark turn.  Only time will tell how this will all play out.

SfC

Well, first of all, my original intention behind “faithful” was simply to indicate my desire to stay faithful to my religious beliefs, which is entirely true and valid; I put a very high value on my faith and consider it the most important part of me.

However, I do think “faithful” in the context of my life has a double-meaning: I also consider faithfulness to be a prized character trait.  If you know me, you know that when I make a commitment, a decision, or any such thing, I will very stubbornly carry out all the duties and responsibilities to that decision, no matter the personal cost to myself.  I take commitments very seriously; the most personally painful thing that can ever happen to me is when I learn that I have failed to be faithful to a relationship with a family member or friend, a commitment that I failed to follow through on, and so forth.

As for why I choose “mind” over heart in my title of “The Faithful Mind.”  I did consider “The Faithful Heart” because  it just sounds better.  However, I chose “mind.”  I have since learned that this is perhaps a better thing; according to the Bible and modern psychological research, what goes through our mind eventually affects our heart.  Do you have strong feelings for a person?  Are you angry with someone?  Do you struggle with fear or loneliness?  The more you allow those thoughts to pulse through your mind, the more they will bleed into your heart and become who you are.  A person’s heart is really a reflection of what thoughts they have allowed to dominate their mind…or which thoughts they have  chosen to dominate their mind with.

And that is really the remarkable thing.  We all know that we as human beings are capable of great things: we’ve built guns, castles, cathedrals, skyscrapers and ships that take us into space.  However, if there is a lie encapsulated in today’s post-modern technologist society, it’s that by advancing technologically, we can change the human condition.  We can in fact make the human soul better with technology.  If that were true, then wars, criminal violence, and selfishness should be on the decline today, right?  Especially in the developed and developing world, we should see crime and vice on the decline.  However, what we see is the opposite.

Now, I would personally coach that if you really want to change the human condition within yourself, you would do well to consider faith.  Christianity has much to offer in the way of life-changing, human condition-changing truth.  However, the Bible does also coach that what you allow into your mind is who you become.  Again, this is remarkable because this may be one of the only ways in which we humans can directly impact who and what we become.  It isn’t an easy road; changing the way you think is not like flipping a switch.  It is more like turning the rudder on a ship: you won’t always perceive the course change immediately…and it is far more normal that you won’t recognize how your change in thinking changed your behavior and your heart for some time.  Even so, this is a positive way to impact who you become and where your life goes.

Just some random thoughts on a Saturday morning.

thefaithfulmind

Greensleeves, a common musical selection for the Christmas season.

So much for getting back in the habit of posting regularly; I missed even my Monday Musician for two weeks straight!  Anyway, here’s a selection of music for you to enjoy this week.

SfC

Franz Strauss – Nocturno, Op. 7 (French Horn Solo)

For today, I have a very good performance of a French Horn solo that I played during my time in high school band.  A very good piece of French Horn literature.  Enjoy!

I apologize to any frequent readers for not posting more than “Monday Musician” posts for the last couple of weeks; schoolwork and life in general have kept me pretty busy.  Hopefully, I will have a more thought-provoking post for my readers soon.

SfC

Ludwing van Beethoven, 9th Symphony

Brand X Music, Lost Kingdom

A fast-paced, energetic piece of modern instrumental music.  Enjoy!

SfC

Louis Moreau Gottschalk, The Banjo

Ludwig Van Beethoven, 7th Symphony, 2nd movement.

Enjoy!

To begin with, I want to make it clear that I count myself a very blessed man in that I grew up in a nuclear family; my parents loved me and they loved each other, as much as we all drove each other crazy from time to time.  So, this whole thing of divorce is not something that I have experienced directly the destructive pain of divorce.  That being said, I do have something to say about  the topic.

As I am a Christian, I feel that an adequate place to begin would be the Bible.  What did Jesus say about divorce?  In Matthew 19, the Pharisees came before Jesus asking him about divorce:  “Is it lawful for a man to divorce?”  For one, I wonder why they even asked him this; according to the law of Moses, divorce is permissible, so I wonder if this was the first time Jesus taught on this.  But notice that in Jesus’s response, he does not focus on the lawfulness of divorce but the intent of marriage:  man and wife joining together and becoming one flesh (v. 6).

Then, when the Pharisees ask why Moses permitted it, Jesus explains that it was a concession to the “hardness of your hearts;” in other words, God permitted it only because the people were going to do it anyway and thus he gave them guidelines for making divorce a legal proceeding (which at the time would’ve made men think twice about divorce).  Now, however, Jesus is saying that the only proper reason for divorce was sexual unfaithfulness.  So strict was this stance that Jesus’s disciples said, “Then it’s better not to get married!”  Why would they say that?  Because suddenly they realize the gravity of the issue of divorce and how important marriage is in the eyes of God.  Surely they were thinking, “What if I marry a woman, and she turns out to be horrible to live with?  I would have to live with her until I died!”

Now, do not misunderstand this:  I love marriage, and I think it’s an incredible institution that, when done properly, infuses the married couple with life.  And as a Christian, the Bible is my first argument against divorce.

But, if you want other reasons to not divorce, read the article that I posted at the top of this post.  In that article you will find statistical data that will tell you that divorce is a major cause of child poverty; only 6% of children in a married two-parent family are poor.  Compare that with 36% of children in a one-parent household.  That is not a small difference.  That means that if you are married and are thinking of getting a divorce, then you are thinking of putting your children at risk of living in poverty.  You can cover that by saying that you love them and that you are getting divorced because you don’t want your children to live with parents who don’t get along, but statistically speaking, that is untrue.  Divorce destroys wealth in the family that goes through it, not just in the spouse divorced but also in the spouse that is getting the divorce, and it seems to me that the real losers in the whole scenario are the children.

Now, I’m not saying that you cannot deal with really important issues in your marriage.  In fact, if there is a major issue in you marriage that needs to be confronted, then confront it now and stop waiting for the issue to get out-of-hand!  And also stop waiting until you have multiple issues with your spouse to confront because then they all get mixed and mashed together.  Resolve them one at a time in as clear-thinking a mindset as you can.  And more than anything, stop using divorce as the first option you go to when you have a marriage problem; if you’re a Christian, then the only – the only scenario in which a divorce is permissible is if your spouse has been unfaithful to you.  Don’t divorce your husband because he called you fat (literally heard of it).  You can stop cooking his dinner, or maybe make his bed on the couch for a couple of nights, or stop doing his laundry.  But don’t just throw in the towel just because of something someone said that irritated or hurt you.  Don’t divorce your wife because your cats don’t get along (literally heard of it).

Now, some people will say, “But what if my husband beats me?” or “What if my wife does drugs?”  Well, those things are illegal and wrong, so I would highly suggest you call the police on him and let them throw him in jail, but don’t divorce him.  I’m not trying to downplay the seriousness of these offenses; believe me, if you experience these sorts of things, I have the highest sympathy for you.  But there comes a point where these bad behaviors reflect badly on those who are suffering at the hands of these badly behaving spouses.  After all, they got married to these horrible people.  That’s why this marriage stuff is really serious; you have to choose very carefully and not just decide on a whim who you are going to marry.  I heard of a woman who wrote in to a show that helps married people: she met a man, 3 days later they were married, and 3 days later, he was deployed with the military.  And then, she writes in to this marriage show wanting help with her marriage.  How could they even begin to help her?  She was the one who chose that situation, and as much as others can try to help, there’s a point where there is not help to be given except encouragement to stick it out.

At what point do people literally understand and ascent to the vows, “For better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do we part?”  I think there are a lot of people who are lying when they say these vows today.  Maybe we should rewrite these vows to say very simply, “No matter what happens, no matter how much money we have, no matter how we feel, the only way we are getting out of this is in a body bag.  And that does not authorize either of us to kill the other while he/she is sleeping!”  Either that, or we rewrite them to say, “I’ll stay married to you…until circumstances get bad.  I’ll stay with you…until we run out of money.  I’ll stay with you…until you get cancer.”

Anyway, so this much is clear from the article: if you are married with children, and you are thinking about getting a divorce, then think of the effect that will have on your kids; for all you know, they could be scrapping a living below the poverty line for the rest of their entire lives if you go through with your divorce.  Do you really want that?  Is the possibility of that existence worth going through the painful process of divorce so you can be free of your “horrible” spouse?